am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
