Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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