At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize