remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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