Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
