I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I want to fling myself into the sun
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
