i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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