just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
handjob tips. give me some.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
it glows. i had to have it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
