Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
