My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
