i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize