I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
