He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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