So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i think i just naturally attract stoners
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
