If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
