put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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