Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
