So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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