is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
