We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
