Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I would fuck him just for his dog
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize