I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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