is your mom at the bar?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
