she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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