Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
