He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It's just like the Real World with babies
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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