Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
