just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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