Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"

(314): View more from Missouri

You fucking left with him didn't you?!

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(585): View more from New York

This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.

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(315): View more from New York

3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.

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(530): View more from California

She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential

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(518): View more from New York

you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh

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(310): View more from California

I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...

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