I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
