NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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