I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
