The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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