yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
