apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We are all done wearing pants today
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
