Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize