I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
