I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
