i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
