apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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