How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
