New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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