Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
