im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
