Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
