Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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