I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
