I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My penis needs a shock collar
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
