I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
