I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
