that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
