we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Text me some of your sweat
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize