I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
