Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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