we're blogging at a bar
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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