Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
