You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
