And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
