There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize