he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize