why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need a beard to bite.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
