Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize