dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
