who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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