I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize