Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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